Oh Dear God

Yeah, look at this picture.

And then very quitely ask yourself, "Why is Barry Bonds dressed in drag? Something to do with a rookie hazing ritual or something. But at 40+, Barry sure isn't any rookie. Wow, i mean just wow. Spring training really is a plce of wackiness and hilarity. Its like these guys get away from their familes and its a fraternity atmosphere down there. Thats got to be a lot of fun though. And i can only assume that Barry has plenty of practice impersonating Paula Abdul. Or maybe not......

In other news, Life is good, Irish Ale is out, Spring Training has begun, and soon the cardinals will open a new stadium. Yeah, what gets better than that? Not much, unless it's watching a bunch of Midgets impersonate KISS. No, i am not kidding at all. This actually happened at Mardi Gras this past weekend, of which i have some great pictures, including Gloriod getting chiefed...but those shall be for later. Adios

"Call me Chong!"

It's actually a fairly rare occurrence that one gets complete absolution for treating someone like crap for almost a straight nine months, but just such a thing happened to me sunday.

When i was a freshman at the all-boys high school i went to, i decided on spanish as my foreign language, and was assigned to the class taught by new teacher Christine E. Duda. A strange short, oddly shaped little woman who i think was only 28-30 years old. This being an all boy high school and her being a relatively young female teacher, class was not pleasant for her at all.

This was somewhat through her own doing. she treated us like kindergarteners when she should have treated us like adults, and expected 14 year old guys to act like adults when she reads passages out loud from books that involved the castration of a chicken. She had some stuff a little backwards, and she allowed someone to pick "Chong" as their spanish name, and bartered with said person about whether or not they could deliver her baby or not. Like i said, some of it was self inflicted.

Anyway, the woman had more than one class walk out on her, students refuse to actually sit in their desks in favor of napping on the floor, knocking her bookshelf full of books and sombreros all over the floor, and throwing her car keys into a dumpster right behind the cafeteria. When she returned at the very end of the semester, with her new baby, one of her students remarked, "jesus it looks like the baby Damien from The Omen." She lasted all of one year at my high school, before moving on to an all girls school.

For a long time, i felt a little twinge of guilt, for being part of a group of people that ran off a poor young teacher from a job that she was clearly in over her head at. Sunday i saw this. Jailed for having sex with a student? Bingo! Even though i hadn't really thought about for years, i had instant absolution for anything i ever did to that woman. If the justice system has any sense of humor, she'll be sentenced to sit in a jail cell with a recording of that hideous voice screaming "Call me Chong!" for the next 10 years while she's serving her statutory rape sentence.